Barstools Biggest Fuck Up Has Done It Again

The world’s biggest fuck-up has done it again. I don’t know why or how I manage to screw things up so consistently, but somehow, I do. Whether it’s breaking news that I slept with half the office, getting us sued, or dipping out early on a Friday to catch a Cubs game, I always find a way to mess things up.

What really sucks is that I genuinely care. I love this job with every fiber of my being, I just happen to be a complete idiot sometimes.

Big Cat doesn’t even care if people go to a Cubs game on Friday; he just cares if they make a mockery of it. And there I was, the world’s biggest idiot, planting a five-foot sloth in my seat as a decoy while I snuck off to Wrigley. I didn’t mean any disrespect to Big Cat or the company. I thought it would make for a funny tweet (and, let’s be honest, it kinda was), but I never stopped to think about the message it might send to people like Dan, the ones who keep the lights on here. For that, I’m truly sorry.

As for the lawsuit stuff, I’ve got nothing. Just another dumb, unintentional mistake that ended up having real consequences.

Now, when it comes to the coworker stuff: everything happened before Annika, and it never caused any real issues in the office. It just turned into a big Barstool story, because of course it did.

I don’t know how I keep digging myself deeper into a hole without even realizing I’m holding a shovel. But somehow, I do.

This job is a wild ride unreal highs, crushing lows and despite all the chaos, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’ve tried to stay steady through it all, but I’m realizing that might not be possible. So instead of trying to balance on a sinking ship, maybe I need to learn how to throw on a life vest instead of a weighted one when things start going under.

I don’t know. I just want it to be clear that I know I fucked up and I’m genuinely sorry, especially to Dan and anyone else in the office who felt disrespected this past Friday.