Dumping Them Out: Mel Kiper Jr. is On The Hot Seat
Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. Today I'd like to use my platform to shoutout the King Cajun restaurant at the Newport Centre mall in Jersey City. I always cut through the mall on my way home from the gym, and I'll stop for food at King Cajun about once a week or so. I always get big helping of Lo Mein and a mountain of Honey Lemon Chicken. It's really not even Cajun food. It's literally just a different version of Panda Express. They have the exact same set up and almost the exact same food options. As far as cheap mall food goes, it's good as fuck. It's objectively twice as good as Panda Express. And it just so happens to be located in the mall directly next to the Panda Express.
But every time I go, the Panda Express has a big long line, and there's nobody in line for King Cajun. It bothers me. Every time I go to King Cajun, it's the same girls working there. It's 3-4 very nice Vietnamese women. They're always putting full effort to give out samples (because they know their food is better). They work hard to try and attract customers. They're friendly. They give massive portions. They seem to actually take pride in their mall restaurant. Meanwhile, Panda Express just has some asshole teens dishing out their more expensive, not-as-good food. The Panda Express employees don't care. They don't take pride in their work like the King Cajun girls. Quite frankly, it pisses me off that Panda Express, just because they're a big chain with the name recognition, gets all the business while there's a restaurant next door with a way better version of the same food, and employees who are scratching and clawing for business every day. I swear one of these days I'm going to make an announcement to the Panda Express line to take their business the King Cajun. King Cajun deserves more respect. #JusticeForTheKingCajunInTheJerseyCityNewportCentreMall
Twitter has been completely off the rails lately. It's always been insane. But lately I feel like people have really ramped up the insanity. The amount of sincerity with which people take other people's tweets is out of control. People treat tweets as if they're declarations of the utmost importance. That every tweet is the symptom of some bigger societal issue. Like they're all thoughts that will be put into textbooks and reflected upon by scholars for the rest of eternity. Like they matter at all. For example, I tweeted this on Friday night about Mel Kiper Jr. during his whole Shedeur Sanders crash out episode.
To me, that's so clearly a throwaway, nothing of a joke about Mel Kiper. The same joke a million other people made. But the amount of anger that single, not-that-fucking-serious tweet elicited is mind-blowing. It shouldn't be. I should really know how this shit goes by now. But the passion people have both for, and against Mel Kiper Jr. is really something else.
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There's so many more too. But honestly it's not even the anger. It's the fact there are SO MANY people engaging in 100% earnest discourse regarding Mel Kiper Jr.'s job security at ESPN. Under that tweet there are over 300 replies of very serious Mel Kiper Jr. opinions. I don't understand it. I actually understand it more when people talk about Barstool Sports employee's jobs. Because in a lot of ways Barstool is a reality show. Our employee's personal lives are wrapped up into the content. Sometimes people getting fired literally is the content. I think people get a little nuts about us too, but that at least makes sense to me.
But how the hell can people have such serious opinions on Mel Kiper Jr.? ESPN's token NFL Draft guy. I get that maybe my tweet wasn't super obviously a joke to everyone. Especially if you don't know me. And that tweet made it out of the Barstool Sports bubble, so 99% of people who saw it don't know met. But I still don't get how any person, from any walk of life, could see a tweet about Mel Fucking Kiper being on the "hot seat", and get truly worked about it. Or think it's remotely worth getting into a genuine argument about. Or treat the tweet like it's a part of some complex issue that speaks to something greater.
It's not complicated. Mel Kiper was mad about being wrong. Him crashing out on TV was funny. It was good for ratings. I'm sure ESPN is probably thrilled with his performance. The amount of people who professed that like they have some exceptional understanding of the complex world of sports media. Holy shit. You would think people had a legitimate financial stake in Mel Kiper Jr.'s public perception. People now more than ever just log online to get fucking pissed.
How can that be an enjoyable way to spend your time? How can that be worth someone's energy? How is it worth my energy right now to get mad about people using their energy on something that I think is really really really really dumb. It's not worth my time. Idk why this is the thing that's bothering me. But fuck… It's Mel Kiper Jr. guys. There are no consequences to him being wrong and mad about the NFL Draft. Mel Kiper is going to be fine. It's literally just meant to be entertainment. I don't get people.
New topic. It sucks that there's not a Jewish university that's good at sports akin to what BYU is for Mormons. You'd really think there would be. I know there's plenty of colleges with large Jewish populations. Did you know 44% of undergrads at Tulane University are Jewish? I had no idea. I didn't realize they were a private school either. As far as schools with D1 sports teams go, Tulane by far has the highest population of Jewish students. The next closest is George Washington at 27%. The next closest with D1 football teams are Florida & Maryland at 19%. But nobody touches Tulane. But they still aren't close to BYU's 99% Mormon population. It would be fun if BYU had a Jewish equivalent. That would be an awesome rivalry. And if they ever recruited an exceptionally high jumping basketball player (or maybe a wide receiver), his nickname could be The Kangajew.
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