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Stathole Sports ETF® Shareholder Update - After A Slight 97% Dip We Have Market Corrected To 5% Growth Thanks To Hitting A Fiduciarily Responsible +3325 Same Game Parlay

Dear shareholders,

Sometimes, no news is good news. A slow boring pace upwards is ideal when it comes to the ETF investment game. And as you can see, we ended last night right where we were at about a week ago on May 6th. Up about 5% overall from our starting point of $495. That's all I really need you - as shareholders - to understand about the bars on above graph. Getting into the weeds on the particulars would be uncouth for a formal shareholder update. You just need the bottom line. We are up. All that matters. Summer is around the corner. Go on and enjoy your lives. 

Now with that said - we are getting outdone by VOO by a little bit. Something I look forward to remedying soon.  And - as always - we will do this with an even keeled approach that keeps investors interests first. Now, it is my fiduciary responsibility to explain what happened this past week, but I would advise you all close this blog now and go about your day. Your retirement. Your future. Your peace of mind. It's safe with STHL ETF® .

wHaT rEaLly hApPenEd

Holy fucking fucking fuck what the fuck just fucking happened! Look things were going swimmingly. SWIMMINGLY. From April 19th all the way to May 4th we bet each and every day and won them all. Invested I mean. Exactly what we were looking for happened. Modest growth. 

Then we hit that dip on May 5th. Here was the play:

Leafs won 5-4 crushing our under 8.5. Oh well. No biggie. Just $25. -385 bets lose occasionally. Went to bed. Woke up. Put a fiscally responsible $50 to correct the injustice on May 6. Can't lose a -300 range bet two days in a row. Except when you do.

This one stung. Hard. That over 188.5 is almost hiding in the embedded tweet but for those who don't remember this was Game 1 where the NBA let some bros from LA Fitness play instead of the actual players. 99-88. For those keeping score at home that's a total of 187 which is lower than the 188.5 we needed. Here's how bad everyone in this game was. Neither team mustered a 40% field goal rate. The Fitness Wolves went 5-29 from three. Yet despite all this we still had a chance on a last second garbage time Naz Reid three that rimmed out to break our hearts. 

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Losing -300 bets two days in a row is unlucky, but no fluke. But it would be fiscally irresponsible to think there were any chance something like this would happen three days in a row:

Knicks lost 91-90 and the Thunder won 149-106. That means we lost 3/4 legs on a -435 parlay. Say what you want. That's hard to do. It's not like any of these legs are supposed to be coin flips. They're supposed to be boring sure fire winners to give us slow growth. And we went 1/4. 

In all of three days now the fund had lost a -385 followed by a -312 followed by a -435 for over half our assets under management. Pressure was mounting to have an answer not only for shareholders but from organized entities such as the SEC and perhaps even the B1G. But I needed a few days off to regroup. I wasn't even sure how much of the fund I had left, but I knew it had $100 so we went with that on a more aggressive -114 set of holdings to stop the bleeding on May 10th:

Full ticket view:

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Celtics 115. Knicks 93. 22-point win. STHL was crushed like a grape then and there. 

Did the math after this loss. $120.31 left liquid. And another $100 tied up in a future of the Cavs or Celtics making it out of the East. I just needed either one of them to do it to make about 7% ROI. Holy bets you'd think were no brainers. 

Anyway - about that liquid $120.31…

Full ticket view:

Another loser. Five straight betting days of minus sign losers. I was defeated. It was over. Done. What else can I do except wait and pray that the Celtics could comeback down 1-3 without Tatum or the Cavs could do the same with half their starters dragging their limbs across the court. So I did it. Somewhere in the early second half of the Pacers / Cavs Game 5 I cashed out of both futures for a measly $15.21. Sold the distressed assets for 15 cents on the dollar. I didn't yet know what I was going to do with it. But I had to do something. Something big to show my shareholders I could be trusted once again. 

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White hit seven threes. The Celtics took care of that 8.5 plus some. And Miles McBride hit a miracle heave three with seconds left before Boston ran out the block to put the total at 129 to save my 128.5. It was beautiful. Spectacular redemption. We saved the fund. We actually did it. And before moving on I'll ask anyone involved with league official stats please remove yourself now because…

SHHHHHHH!!!

It shouldn't have even won!!!!!

Giphy Images.

Official to date - we are up $27 and have only wagered $1,730.52 all in all to achieve this growth. That's what we got going here. This is what Stathole Sports ETF® is all about. 

Thank you valued shareholder,

@Stathole

Shareholder Report Log 4 - May 7

Shareholder Report Log 3 - April 24

Shareholder Report Log 2 - April 21

Shareholder Report Log 1 - April 15

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  GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537). 
  (AZ/CO/IA/IL/IN/KS/KY/LA/MD/ME/MI/NC/NJ/OH/OR/PA/N/VA/VT/WV/WY), (800) 327-5050 or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). 
  Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 
  Call 1-800-522-4700 (NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.1800gambler.net (WV). 
  21+ (18+ KY/NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/KY/LA(select parishes)/MA/MD/ME/MI/NC/NJ/NY/OH/PA/TN/VANT/WV/WY only. 
  Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Valid 1 per new customer. 
  Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. $150 issued as bonus bets that expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. 
  Bonus bets must be wagered 1x before any resulting cash winnings can be withdrawn and stake is not included in winnings. 
  Ends 04/14/24 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. See terms at dkng.co/bball.