Watch: Caitlin Clark Shoved Angel Reese Into A Locker & Dave Portnoy Won $350,000 Off Her Triple Double? What A Beautiful Opening Day For The WNBA!
Before the Blue Checkmark Brigade goes crazy, I am fully aware last night was *technically* Opening Day for the W. But let's be real, the season doesn't start until future MVP/Champion Caitlin Clark graces the floor. And whew boy did she immediately show the entire league the horrors coming their way during 2025. Alpha female. Insatiable. Jackhammer.
Of course her old pal Angel Reese was on the court today too, but aside from that tomahawk slam above, it was a pretty rough day for her. She shot 5-14 from the field, had 5 turnovers, was a (-20) plus/minus, and her team took a fat L to the tune of 93-58. You'd think an egregious/disgusting 35 point loss in the (1st) game of the season would be the worst thing possible right?
Well unfortunately for Angel, she also got literally stuffed into a locker by Caitlin on national television.
I guess I should have clarified earlier, by "stuffing in a locker" I really just mean "making a great play with an A+ take foul on a 73% FT shooter" but I figured I should write as sensationally as Angel acts. Realistically speaking, how much mental real estate does CC take up in her head? 101%?
But it was a fantastic day to be a Fever fan, especially if you had the foresight to see this Clark explosion coming. Enter, the most brilliant brain on the planet, Dave Portnoy.
Just a great day at the ballpark. Everybody wins. Except Angel Reese. I'm certainly glad I got to witness my beloved NY Liberty win it all last year because holy hell this Indiana Fever team looks scary.
Congrats to Caitlin & Dave on what's sure to be many many wins this season. My only request to the Fever is maybe stop having all your players stand on apple boxes if they're gonna talk to my fearless leader? He passed out way too many newspapers back in the day to be caught in illegal optical illusions like below. I'm gonna go work on getting it deleted from the internet forever. Can't have slander like that existing on a website like this.
Was probably a great conversation with Sophie exchanging best practices for tanning though.
PS: does this nickname have legs? Way more creative than just saying "The Big 3" imo

