Month To Month

Month to month sounds a whole lot better than unemployed. That’s just the truth. It’s hard to put into words how I’m feeling right now. The last three weeks living in limbo, not knowing whether I’d still have a job or be shown the door has eaten me alive. The stress, the overthinking, the late nights questioning every decision I’ve ever made… it’s been brutal. I truly love this place with every bone in my body. Working here has been the greatest privilege of my life, and I don’t say that lightly. But I’m also a fucking moron. I’ve made choices, dumb ones, that put me in this position. And that’s on me.

This is, without question, the greatest place to work. The people, the energy, the opportunity, it’s all unmatched. Without it, to be honest, I’d probably hate my life. I can’t even imagine going back to cold calling 500+ people a day, sitting in some gray cubicle, pitching shit nobody wants to hear. After experiencing what it’s like to be here for the past two years, that kind of life would crush my soul. So yeah, even if I’m just here on a month-to-month basis, I’m beyond thankful. Grateful isn’t even a strong enough word.

I know I’ve got to clean it up. I know I’ve caused unnecessary stress, made people at the top lose sleep over whether I’m worth the risk. And I hate that. Moving forward, I’m still going to be an idiot that’s just baked into my DNA, and according to a few doctors, there’s not a whole lot I can do about it. But I promise I’ll be a controlled idiot. A dialed-in dumbass. One that doesn’t put this company or anyone in it in a bad spot again.

So to Dave and Dan, thank you. Thank you for the lifeline. Thank you for not pulling the plug when it probably would’ve been easier to do so. I won’t let you down. I’m still here, and I’m going to make the most of whatever time I’ve got left. Whether that’s a month or ten years, I’ll treat it like a gift.

God bless you all.