The Miami Dolphins Are Confirmed NOT Pussy

There’s a phenomenon taking place in South Florida right now. Slowly but surely, we’re finding ways to prove that our sports teams aren’t pussy!! The Panthers are the standard there’s not a team even remotely close to what the Florida Panthers are right now. But I’m starting to find the small wins in some of the other teams down south.

The Miami Dolphins might get bent over by Josh Allen twice a year. They might choke the entire season away in December. They might go another 25 years without winning a playoff game. But at least we didn’t vote to ban the tush push! That takes balls. While every other team in the league is shitting down their leg over a QB sneak, the Miami Dolphins for once in their life decided to put their foot down and stand for something.

This might be the most “manly” thing this team has done in 15 years. I’m proud of them. Truly.

When I heard teams were voting on it, I would have guaranteed that the Dolphins would vote for it to be banned. I was wrong. And maybe just maybe this is a sign of things to come? I know it sounds crazy, but considering how soft this team has been for most of my life, this is a major step forward in actually having some balls.

Hopefully the next step in our not being pussy journey is to establish and offensive line, run the fucking football, and for just once please beat Josh Allen and the Bills. Not asking for much. A playoff win would be great, but this year is all about proving that we are not pussy.

Proud of you, Miami. Keep up the good work.