I’ve Waited My Whole Life For This: Turkey Began Fining The Uncivilized People Who Stand And Rush The Aisle When The Plane Lands
Washington Post - It’s a topic of controversy when it comes to air travel: When your plane reaches its gate, when is the right time to stand up and begin the deplaning process?
In Turkey, passengers who get out of their seat before the plane has stopped taxiing or crowd the aisle before it’s their row’s turn to deplane will now face fines, according to a circular approved by the Turkish Directorate General of Civil Aviation.
Director General Kemal Yüksek instructed cabin crews for planes landing in Turkey to issue warnings that passengers who do not “respect the disembarkation priority of the passengers in front of or around you” will be reported to the authority and “an administrative fine will be imposed in accordance with the applicable legal regulations.”
This includes unfastening seat belts, standing up, opening the overhead compartments or crowding the aisle while the plane is still taxiing to the gate, but also standing up or proceeding into the aisle before the row’s turn to exit, the directive states. Yüksek noted in the circular that there has been a significant increase in reports of such behavior, which risks “passenger and baggage safety and security” and disregards “the satisfaction and exit priority” of other passengers.
(Kindly hit the play button on this song and let it play while you scroll and read this blog for ultimate effectiveness.)
Turkey, you beautiful bastards. You’ve done what every airline passenger with half a functioning brain and a single ounce of human decency has begged for since the Wright brothers first decided to ruin society at 30,000 feet.
This is officially the first piece of international policy I’ve ever wanted to personally fund.
Effective immediately, anyone on a flight to or from Turkey who thinks they’re storming the beaches of Normandy the second the wheels hit the tarmac is getting slapped with a fine. Roughly 67 American dollars, which I feel is plenty fair for a first offense. Not enough to break anybody financially, but enough to get the point across that you're an inconsiderate dickhead and can wait 10 more minutes until it's your turn to stand up, get your shit, and get the fuck off the flying megabus.
This includes unbuckling your seatbelt while the plane is still taxiing, springing up like you’ve been hit with a cattle prod, opening the overhead bin, and bum-rushing the aisle even though you’re in Row 31 and the doors won’t open for another 12 minutes.
These are the people who think they’re starring in a Bourne movie. Relax man, no one’s going to beat you to baggage claim. You’re not gonna Mission Impossible your way off a plane and shave 0.8 seconds off your Uber wait time. You’re just standing there in the aisle like a jackass, hunched under the overhead bins, sweating through your T-shirt, ass in someone’s face, clutching your Tumi backpack like it’s a hostage situation.
Now God Bless Turkey for putting their foot down.
You crowd the aisle before it’s your row’s turn?
Boom. Fined.
And honestly, this shouldn’t be controversial.
It’s not like Turkey banned people from standing ever.
You can still stand at your seat once the seatbelt sign is off. Do some stretching. Get the blood flowing to your legs again. Just don’t sprint to the front like you’re somehow more important than everybody else who's on the plane.
Impatient passengers can actually delay the process of deplaning. Under Federal Aviation Administration regulations, the cabin crew has to alert the pilot if a passenger stands up while the plane is still moving toward a gate. “It is a safety issue,” Jennifer “Jaki” Johnson, a flight attendant for a major carrier as well as the CEO and founder of Jetsetter Chic, told The Washington Post in 2019.
Etiquette experts say that passengers should wait for the rows in front of them to exit before stepping into the aisle, with the exception of allowing passengers through who have tight connections. They note, however, that when it comes to standing and stretching your legs after the fasten seat belt sign is turned off, there’s no harm in doing so at your seat, as long as you stay out of the aisle and remain mindful of the passengers around you.
This isn’t about etiquette anymore. This is a "safety issue" according to Jennifer Jaki Johnson, and more importantly, this is a societal order issue.
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I’m not saying we should be throwing these people in Gitmo, but I’m also not not saying that.
All I know is if Turkey wants to start a GoFundMe to build a special holding cell for aisle-rushers at every major airport, I’m throwing in a hundred bucks and my Southwest points.
Maybe this is what the world needs, one little rule that makes society a hair less chaotic. One tiny victory against the unwashed masses of sky-sociopaths.
Thank you Turkey. You’ve given hope to the decent, rule-abiding citizens of this world. Hopefully, airlines in America follow suit in the next ten years.
Mark down a big W for human decency.
p.s. - NOTHING worse than the people in the back of the plane who rush the front yelling they have a connection to make when your plane took off and landed on time, and then you either see them at baggage claim waiting for luggage with everybody else on the flight, or out waiting for a taxi or uber. Fuck a fine. Those people should get the chair.