Fire Up The Photoshop Machine! The Knicks Are Reportedly Preparing A "Tsunami-Type" Offer For Giannis
IT'S BEEN FAR TOO LONG. ALEXA, FIRE UP THE PHOTOSHOP MACHINE AND PUT THE BEST (REPORTEDLY) AVAILABLE NBA SUPERSTAR IN A KNICKS JERSEY!!!
I can't tell you how many times during my 10+ year Barstool career I had to grip tightly onto a loose rumor about the Knicks acquiring a star that triggered my dumb brain to get excited because all we had was hope for some of those dark days. Then Leon Rose arrived with Worldwide Wes and built the Knicks into a competitive franchise with shrewd moves that slowly but surely built up the talent base of a team that had just lost two superstars to the team across town because they weren't "cool enough".
So you must forgive me if old habits die hard as I get excited about this latest rumor of the Knicks preparing a "tsunami-type" offer for Giannis. I feel like a tsunami offer is obviously a really big one, but I'm unsure where it sits in the natural disaster rankings. Is a tsunami-type offer bigger than a hurricane-type offer? What about a earthquake-type offer? Could the Rockets see this news and trump the Knicks with a volcanic explosion-type offer since lava trumps water as a destructive force (even though many of us with homes know that water damage is no joke). Is a nuclear winter-level offer the best you can make or does an extinction event asteroid-level offer trump all that? These are the questions I ponder as I get older.
To be clear, I do find this entire report ridiculous and not just because the person being quoted is someone named Gery Woelfel, who according to his Twitter bio appears to be a writer for Woelfelspressbox.com.
I'm sure Woelfelspressbox is a place where real ball knowers go to get their fix. However, when I went to the site, it appears to be defunct.
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I also don't know what award Gery won from the Pro Basketball Writers Association, the WNA, or the PBA. To be honest, I don't know what some of those organizations even cover. I do however appreciate someone that still grinds in the magazine game since nothing beats the smell of a Lindy's preview magazine covering a sport you love and fully acknowledge Gery could be THE source for all things Bucks or hoops.
That being said, I simply cannot get too excited about rumors anymore no matter which natural disaster they are associated with because of all the bullshit I've read over the years. Not just about the Knicks either. We had a Dame Watch on this site for what felt like forever that had the Heat making a blockbuster trade with the Blazers. Then Dame went to the Bucks, tore his achilles, and now here we are with Giannis being the next star reportedly being moves.
I also can't take a bunch of these rumors seriously considering how hard it is to make trades with NBA teams over the aprons, which the Bucks and many of the Giannis suitors are. Trades resemble puzzles requiring certain sized pieces more than offers resembling natural disasters in Adam Silver's new NBA.
In the end, it's going to come down if Giannis actually wants out of Milwaukee, where he specifically wants to go, and if the Bucks will grant his wishes after he delivered a championship along with countless great memories. No tsunami offers will likely change all that. At the very least, it seems the #KnicksForClicks industry, which has been booming over the last week, has transitioned from trying to paint the Knicks as the incompetent franchise they were before Dolan to painting them as a franchise trying to make monster moves while their windows as contenders appears as open as it will ever be thanks to a weak East and a cap sheet that makes big moves possible.
Not only that, but it seems like the Knicks may be throwing around a tsunami of money to acquire any coach they can, even if he is under contract.
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Live look at the owners of NBA teams employing a coach that James Dolan wants:
We could break down the coaching carousel as well. But what's the fun in talking X's and O's about coaches that may not be let out of their contracts? Instead, let's just connect the dots from one of the coaching candidates to the aforementioned superduperstar that may be available for trade.
That's it, I've seen enough. Giannis and Jason Kidd to the Knicks: CONFIRMED!!!
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Goddammit I hate the uncertainty of the NBA offseason and the rumor mill it creates. Which is why I promise you the reader, this will be the last time I blog about a Giannis to the Knicks rumor until it has some legitimate weight behind it. And I'm not talking Klemmer weight, I'm talking Clem weight, which is the reeeeeal heavy stuff.
Until then, In Leon We Trust. Go New York Go New York Go. Now here is a song made by a bunch of rappers who hit the scene back when the Knicks were good in the 90s thanking this year's Knicks for bringing the pride back to The Garden.