Noa Essengue May Have To Retire Before Playing a Single NBA Game After Being Put In a Body Bag By Johnny Furphy Last Night

FROM DOWN UNDER, BAH GAWD THAT'S JOHNNY FURPHY'S MUSIC! This is the definition of catching a body. Splitting the defenders and putting Bulls 2025 1st round pick, Noa Essengue, onto a poster. The best part about this dunk isn't even the dunk, it's Essengue looking like Lee Harvy Oswald getting shot in the gut by Jack Ruby. Honestly, you could also describe this dunk as an assassination.

I can't get over it. With that face, Essengue wasn't just put on a poster, he was put into a body bag and zipped up. Honestly, that's where I'd want to be if I was turned into a meme before my career even started. I'm not sure how you go out and play the game of basketball anymore without flashbacks of this dunk giving you PTSD. You can't just go overseas and hide away in a Euro league until this dies down, like a leaked nude, this picture will follow him around forever. If I'm Noa, I'm not only changing my name, I'm having facial reconstruction surgery so that no one can ever link this picture to me in the future. It's the only way. 

You've got to be an absolute sicko to watch a second of summer league, let alone try to get people to read a blog about it. Every year I start to miss basketball and convince myself that summer league will fill the void, only to remember in the first minutes of play that this is an absolutely dog shit product. But this dunk and this face may have made watching summer league worth it.