Pat Tore His ACL And Other Horrible Things To Experience As An Adult
For those unaware, there is a massive basketball rematch a very short week and a half away between Barstool NYC and Team Minihane. I haven't seen a rematch this highly anticipated since the freshman team took on the Varsity in Mighty Ducks 3 (shout out JDL and the Honda Center). One of the keys to victory for NYC aside from Rico Bosco, who I have on good authority has regularly been putting up 1000 shots a night, was definitely Pat. I've seen him hoop and despite his wiry frame he's got some nice game. He certainly has the height which is a cheat code in men's leagues games. We will see how this impacts the game now that NYC is down to 6 bodies but remember, great moments are born from great opportunities.
More importantly for Pat though his life kinda stinks now. Sorry Pat, I don't want to sugarcoat it buddy but this is legit horrible. For Christ sakes, look at my poor guy...
Forget about not hooping, my guy can't even enjoy his morning download! We are in the thick of summer and Pat is an avid motorcycle guy and I'm not trying to make things worse for him but I'm going to go out on a limb and say it isn't safe to ride a bike with a knee brace and torn ACL.
A nightmare indeed and my heart breaks for my buddy.
It got me thinking…what are the worst things that can happen to you as an adult? I'm not talking about really horrible stuff like your dad dying (spoiler alert: that sucks) but more so stuff that is a nuisance more than anything and makes your life miserable for a while. Here is what I came up with:
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Injury
Crutches. Walking boot. Cast. Anything that is going to impede your day to day life. See above. Lucky for Pat he doesn't have kids because I cannot imagine trying to be a parent on one leg. That's something you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy type thing. There is a reason I stopped going into terrain parks when I go snowboarding now and this is exactly it; I want to avoid this outcome. Men's leagues sports injuries are also brutal because what I've realized with age is that there is absolutely no need to go balls to the wall in recreational sports. That is easier said than done, especially when lining up against Team Minihane, but it needs to be avoided at all costs.
Imagine spending nearly a year doing a rehab? That's for the birds.
Getting arrested
There is no bigger way to feel like a loser than getting arrested as an adult. I'm not talking about violent crimes here - those people need to be arrested and thrown in jail. I'm referring to things like a DUI, unpaid parking tickets, stealing a cop car in Vegas, or public intoxication. It is expensive. It's embarrassing. Spending the night in jail is miserable unless you're the Brady 4 and even then it still sucks. Depending on your offense it could hurt you for a while after the infraction too so it becomes a dark cloud.
Basement flooding
Do you remember how mad Carmela was when all the pictures got ruined?! This hurts your personal belongings, it hurts your wallet, and if you're anything like me it hurts your anxiety that something is broken and can't be fixed immediately. I pray to the suburb gods that this never happens to me.
Tree falling on your house
This is horrific and has the ability to take lives but assuming no one is hurt, this is a horrible thing that could happen to your house. Definitely worse than basement flooding I think because it takes time to repair assuming you can find a contractor with available time.
Hey Kevin, just chop down the tree yourself next time amiright?
Renovation
This is a champagne problem but if you are doing a major renovation (kitchen, bathroom) in your house and you are displaced in any way it is obnoxious. Especially because projects almost always take longer than you're originally told.
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Car stolen
You have personal belongings inside. You have to file the insurance claim. You're without transportation. A litany of headaches make this annoying to deal with at any stage of life but especially as an adult when you have responsibilities and committments that truly benefit from having a ride to get there.
So all of these are not life threatening and certainly not the worst things to happen, but annoying enough that you would like to avoid them like the plague.