The Hardest Job in the NFL is Being Jerry Jones' Kid and Having to Do Damage Control Every Time He Opens His Mouth

Tim Nwachukwu. Getty Images.

Malcolm Forbes once said, "I never met a rich guy's kid who was worth a damn." (Which was something I kept in mind when his own son was asking America to elect him President, but I digress.) And you can often see why. He was a publishing magnate who collected Harley Davidsons and Faberge Eggs, but he also earned a Bronze Star and was awarded a Purple Heart in WWII. So you can imagine how little patience he'd have with the sons of all his self-made business associates who slid out of the birth canal and had a soft, cushy landing on third base and never amounted to squat. 

But it's not always true, of course. There are people born to privilege who find motivation to strive and achieve where others might simply coast through life. Who are dedicated, hard-working and industrious. And one of them is clearly Stephen Jones of the Cowboys family dynasty. Because he has the arduous duty that is cleaning up the mess every time his lizardy, off-putting father speaks into a microphone. And that is some real heavy lifting. 

Other owner's sons take on a lot of the burden of running an NFL team for a dad who may be getting up in years. Jonathan Kraft being my obvious example. Plus Cal McNair in Houton. George Halas McCaskey in Chicago. But these men have the benefit of serving under fathers who aren't insane old weirdos who think they know better than all the football people around them. Stephen Jones doesn't enjoy that luxury. Which is why he's constantly on Fire Watch, putting out the blazes his father's dumbass mouth can't help starting. 

Lately Jerruh's obsession seems to be with contracts he's signed players to, and the fact that NFL players who sign those contracts sometimes get injured. Which is a tough reality everyone in the world understands. But he seems to think it's bad business, and an affront to him:

… and he missed two-thirds of the year.

But the damage was done. You can't unring a bell. First JJ Watt amplified Jerry's remarks:

To the tune of 2.1 million views, 21K likes, and 1,600 reposts. The most important of which is from one of the players he was ripping:

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And he was far from done running his liver-spotted mouth. Enter Stephen with the fire hose:

… suggesting some regret. 

Stephen Jones then jumped in and took over the mic from there. 

All of which was a nice capper on a day that began with Jerry alienating Trevon Diggs, instead of just No Commenting the way any rational owner/business executive would have:

Now, to be clear, that $500,000 was not a fine. It's a clause in Diggs' contract that says if he misses workouts, he misses the half a million. He made a business decision that his free time was worth that much, more power to him, I guess. 

But to the guy who went to his last Super Bowl 30 years ago, it's still 1995. So you get to question the toughness of your best players, the wisdom of paying them what the market rate for their talent is, and their leadership. Because there's nothing they can do about it. Yeah, good luck with that. 

And good luck to Jerruh's kid. His dad has entered that stage in life where he's got an unlimited supply of fucks, and a short time to give them. So he's going to be that live wire who speaks his mind in front of the whole world, consequences be damned. But when you're the son who has to deal with those consequences, it makes for a lot of unnecessary work. 

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I saw on Get Up! yesterday that Mike Greenberg has the Cowboys as his No. 1 team to make the playoffs after missing out last year. I'm saying right now that isn't going to happen. Everybody on that roster who can, will be looking for the exits the first chance they get. Mark my words, this franchise is in chaos. A fish rots from the head.