I Once Wrote a Lyric for The Prince of Darkness... (RIP, Ozzy)

Ian Dickson. Getty Images.

I was a Doors and Zeppelin fan, but I also had a dark side, and I quenched my musical thirst for that with some Black Sabbath.

Sure, Jim Morrison and Robert Plant were very cool, but Ozzy was cooler, the ice in your veins, and no one else hit that spot the way he did. And, he was painting his fingernails black long before Gen Z boys started doing it. And it was dark, and it was cool back then.

While I was living in South Florida with Moose and drinking, smoking, and popping, I was also writing poetry and song lyrics. I wanted to write something dark and send it to "The Prince of Darkness," hoping he'd turn it into a hit. I wrote "Satan's Pleasure" in 1976 but didn't record it or register the copyright until 1987.

I found what I thought was Ozzy's address and sent the lyric to him, but all I got in return was a letter offering me membership in the Ozzy Osbourne Fan Club. Not what I was expecting. I was a serious songwriter, not a fanboy!

Years later, a buddy of mine, a base player, invited me and Susan to his house. He was married, and we figured our two wives could hang out upstairs while the two of us went downstairs, into the basement, and into his makeshift music studio to create.

We smoked some pot and drank some beer, and Kevin told me he had some prerecorded music he thought would work with my lyric. He said he'd play the rhythm guitar along with it, his base track was already on it.

The microphone was a large, old-school type, a '30s and '40s studio model, and the singer had to be just centimeters away from it for it to pick up their voice. However, it separated the voice from all outside noise, unlike regular microphones, according to Kevin.

We got ready, and when Kevin pressed the play button, I was supposed to start singin'. I stood there listening to the music for the first time, and I had no idea when to start or how to arrange the lyrics to the tune.

When the music ended, I hadn't done anything. I just stood there with absolutely no fucking clue when or how to start. Kevin was like, "What the fuck, man. Are you gonna sing?"

I told him I needed to figure it out, and that maybe the second time through would go better. It didn't. I just stood there waiting for my opening, which never came.

Kevin was getting pissed. "Are you gonna do this or what, Vin?"

"Yeah, I think I'm ready now…"

The third time was a charm, and I had it figured out; I started singing immediately, as if I were the new frontman for Sabbath. Fuck you, Ozzy. There's a new Prince in town!

After we finished, we played it back, and it was impressive. I had somehow carved the lyrics into the music, and the dark universe had done the rest…

Kevin and I  high-fived each other and went upstairs to tell the girls and play the demo. They were impressed. We strutted around the house like rock stars.

I took the recording home with me, and the following day Kevin called to say he wanted it back. That's when we got into it. He said he had the rights to the song because it was his music, recorded in his studio, on his equipment. He had a point, but there wouldn't be a song if I hadn't written the lyrics and sung it. I wasn't backing down…

We resumed talking, hoping to figure out the rights to the royalties, because we thought we had a hit on our hands.

I paid a recording studio in Rhode Island to clean up the original and produce 20 cassettes with labels. I decided to go by the stage name, 'Vincent Satori'. In Zen Buddhism, Satori refers to "the inner, intuitive experience of enlightenment." Satori is said to be "unexplainable, indescribable, and unintelligible by reason and logic." I fuckin' loved it! 

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I sent cassettes to record labels with a promotional flyer, but no one responded, and my song never even reached the cutting room floor.

Later, when Susan and I had our first son, I'd sing "Satan's Pleasure" to him instead of the sweet lullabies other children's parents were singing to their kids. My son looked a little scared, but seemed to like it. He was just two years old, and I was indoctrinating him into the dark side. When he was older, he said he remembered me singing the song and scaring the shit out of him. He thinks I fucked him up for life…

Here's the lyric Ozzy probably never read… I don't recommend you recite this to your two-year-old. I'd stick to lullabies and nursery rhymes…

Susan surprised me with this calligraphy for my birthday… She really believed in me!

After Harry Chapin died just weeks before we were gonna get together, and a bad case of stage fright ruined my audition on the boardwalk at Paragon Park, I felt destiny had dealt me a bad blow. So, I gave up my rock n' roll dream to become a plumber…                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Make a joke and I will sigh

And you will laugh and I will cry

Happiness, I cannot feel

And love, to me, is so unreal

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I no longer have a working cassette player, but when I get my hands on one, I'll add the recording. I've been told it sounds like Jim Morrison sings Black Sabbath…