Ranking My 5 Worst Bills To Pay

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Your parents always told you, “Don’t grow up too fast.” And as a kid, that always sounded rubbish. Easy for you to say you don’t have school in the morning. But then you grow up, and suddenly you're like, “Damn… they were right.”

I remember getting the mail for my parents as a kid. I’d hand it to my mom and go, “Mommy, how come you get all the mail and I don’t?” And she’d smile and say, “Honey, you don’t want this kind of mail.” I never understood what she meant… until now.

Sure, mail isn't what it used to be. Most of it’s gone digital, replaced by apps, logins, and monthly subscriptions all designed to quietly drain your bank account. But whether it’s a paper envelope or a payment notification, one thing remains the same: bills suck. And these, in my opinion, are the five worst.

5. Club Tab

I know this technically isn’t a “real” bill, but it may as well be. It’s not monthly, it’s weekly. You go out, swipe your card like you're invincible, order a couple drinks (and a couple rounds), and don’t think twice. Then Sunday morning rolls around, the hangxiety hits, and you finally muster up the courage to check your account. It’s always worse than you thought. You swear you’re never doing it again… until Friday comes back around. I know this one sounds childish, but it’s real.

4. Streaming Services

Honestly, this might be the biggest scam outside of the U.S. healthcare system. They reel you in with “just $7.99 a month” and then boom, your favorite show is on another platform. Then live sports move to yet another app. Before you know it, you’re subscribed to six different services, shelling out $60 a month on top of your cable bill. Congratulations, you’ve been robbed. Digitally.

3. Taxes

In theory, I get it. Roads, schools, whatever. But in reality? It feels like legalized theft. Especially when you look at your paycheck and see how much is taken out. And bonuses? Why are those taxed like I just committed a felony? I wouldn’t even be mad if someone could clearly explain where all that money actually goes, but until then, it just feels like I’m donating to a black hole.

2. Utilities / Water

Paying rent already hurts enough. Utilities should just be included. Wrap it all up in one number so I can suffer once instead of twice. Why am I paying $2,000 a month to live somewhere, and then also paying extra to turn on the lights or take a shower? That’s like getting punched in the face, falling down, and then getting a Randy Orton punt to the skull while you're still on the ground.

1. Rent

The king of all financial pain. The undisputed heavyweight champ. No matter how much you make, rent will find a way to hurt you. That first paycheck of the month? Already gone. Could I live somewhere cheaper? Probably. But there’s always a trade off, peace of mind, commute time, lively area, etc. Rent sucks. That’s it. That’s the take.

At the end of the day, being an adult just means working so you can afford to keep working. Paying bills is the worst subscription service on Earth and unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about it.