Cut Out The Middle Man – In South Beloit, Illinois People Will Be Able To Sell Blood In Direct Exchange For Drugs

WTVO – Following the success of the “Bleed for Weed” campaign, the Rock River Valley Blood Center is teaming up with Sunnyside for the “Blood for Bud” donation drive.

Successful donors who also purchase cannabis at the dispensary, located at 7000 First Ranger Drive in South Beloit, will receive $10 High Supply or Good News 500mg Cartridge; $15 Cresco eighth; or $10 Good News or Mindy’s gummies.

“Partnering with Sunnyside lets us meet people where they are while reminding everyone just how vital regular blood donations are to our hospitals and neighbors. It’s a simple act with powerful results, and we’re grateful to work with community partners who help us save lives in new and meaningful ways,” said Lisa Entrikin, CEO of RRVBC.

Brother... The amount of time and stress this would have saved me in my early 20's. If only this were in Toledo, Ohio. And instead of marijuana gift cards it was bags of heroin. 

Just kidding. I never sold blood for drugs. But the amount of times I had to wait until __:__ PM for my broke ass friend who had the hookup to the good heroin dealer to sell his blood so that he could afford a bag for himself. Then I had to wait for him to run 10 minutes across town, which somehow turned into a 2+ hour ordeal every time. Because I couldn't possibly be trusted with the good drug dealer's number. He was "very particular" about who he sold to. Except for that one time when my friend was busy and needed me to meet dude outside of his apartment, and dude was actually super fucking chill (too chill to be honest). And was immediately like, "Nice to meet you man! Why don't you just hit me up yourself?"

And I was like, "Uhhhh..."

Then he proceeded to give me his number and hand me a bag that contained WAY MORE drugs than I ever received for $120 when they passed through the hands of my friend. Funny how that works. Must have just been one big misunderstanding. So anyways... I guess I'm not kidding about the blood for drugs thing. Some sort of Bags For Blood promotion at CSL Plasma in West Toledo would have really made my drug purchasing life more convenient.

Paul Hennessy. Shutterstock Images.

But in South Beloit, you don't even need to go through the whole plasma conversation process to get your drug money. Plasma donation is so much more of a hassle. They take you blood, then do whatever they do to extract the plasma from it, then hook you back up to the machine and put your blood back in your body. The vetting process for plasma donators takes longer. The donation process itself takes longer. That's why plasma is where the money is. But the Red Cross just expects you to fork your blood over for the good of society. And they'll take it from just about anyone. You can't donate blood quite as often as plasma (plasma replenishes very quickly), but the traveling blood donation people will set up shop in a high school gym and just start sticking needles in whichever student walks through the door because he was told it would get him out of class for a period. Had the Red Cross been offering "$15 Cresco eighths" for every bag of blood donated, they'd have left Bowling Green High School with half our grade passed out lightheaded in the nurse's office.  

It's funny that in some areas of the country, there's medical facilities taking your blood in exchange for marijuana gift cards in broad daylight, while in other areas, rappers are having their homes burgled and getting hit with felonies because the responding officers smelled some personal weed in their bedroom closet. You gotta be careful with state's rights. I always forget those are a thing. It's so easy to cross state lines that you'll forget you just went from having a perfectly legal amount of plant in your arm rest, to facing a prison time if a cop catches a whiff of your sack when he pulls you over for speeding. 

Glad to see the blood donation people are getting creative. Blood donation is important. It saves lives. Our country's hospitals can never have too much good blood on hand. The way I see it, if it's for a good cause, a cause that's going to better society, the more we can bribe people with drugs the better.