Florida Man Who Stole Smokey The Bear Signs to Sell on Facebook Marketplace Was Arrested By Smokey The Bear

I really enjoy stories of people being arrested by mascots. It should be done way more often. It's fun. It's cute. It adds a layer of embarrassment to arrest, which could potentially act as a deterrent for criminals. Nobody wants to be the guy who's getting stuffed in the back of a cop car for a government funded Smokey The Bear marketing campaign. Bet the next person who has the bright idea to get into the illegal Smokey Bear memorabilia business thinks twice about it. 

The country of Peru has it figured out better than anyone. They're constantly making drug busts in festive costumes. And unlike Smokey Bear, who appears to have just been waiting by the cruiser for a photo op, the Peruvian National Police aren't afraid to put an officer in a capybara costume and send him barging into the trap house of an armed drug ring. 

I love the idea of a drug dealer sitting at home on a holiday and getting a knock on the door from the Easter Bunny and just knowing they're done for. Just god forbid anything goes wrong. If you thought Chuck E. Cheese being taken out in handcuffs was traumatizing for children, the neighborhood kids would scarred for life to see the Easter Bunny take a bullet to the head and be loaded into the back of an ambulance. 

In this case, for the man who had been stealing Smokey Bear signage and putting it up on Facebook Marketplace for the insane price of $1,900. Imagine he's sitting at home, thinking he's about to have a normal day, and he looks out his front window to see this.

He's so fucked. Although in this case, the thief actually traveled from Pensacola to Orlando to meet up with a buyer. So imagine making the 6+ hour drive deep into the Florida panhandle, and when you finally arrive, this is the car that pulls up next to you.

You're cooked, pal. I don't think it exactly happened like that. But it should have. Except if this guy pulled up to meet a man in a full Smokey Bear costume… someone who's about to give him $1,900 for a Smokey Bear cutout… he'd have probably just thought, "Damn this guy really fucking loves Smokey, huh?"

Until Smokey Bear pulls a gun and slaps the cuffs on him. Good job Smokey. It's about time you did something other than give us lip service about forest fires.