A Drunkard's Dream if I Ever Did See One...
On August 18th, 1979, the night before our wedding, Susan and I sat at a round, dark-stained, wooden table in the Tiki Bar at the Canton House (Stoughton), treating members of the wedding party to drinks. Some of them arrived throughout the night, had a drink or two on us, and went on their way.
We stayed longer than we should've, but managed to avoid being poked in the eye by the mini umbrellas swirling around in the odd-looking drinking vessels, some of which were made of split coconuts. We swallowed a few more exotic drinks than we should have. At least I did…
By the time we left, it was late, and we were a stumbling bunch, but not ready to call it a night. Five of us jumped in the "Rent a Heap" that my buddy "Twiggy" rented us and headed over to Store 24 in Brockton to buy some rolling papers and snacks. It was the only place still open.
Susan and I were in the bucket seats, and Tracy was behind Susan, Jay was in the middle, and Linda was behind me. Both Tracy and Linda were bridesmaids and Susan's roommates at Fisher. It was Linda's father who owned a trash company in Connecticut, and Susan and her assumed they were paired together as roommates because their fathers had dirty jobs. Irv was a self-employed plumber.
Despite being evicted by Jay's father when I was living with Jay in his basement, and taking some undeserved heat for the pound of marijuana being sold out of their garage, not by me, Jay and I remained good friends. I asked him to be one of my ushers.
We were sitting in the parking lot of Store 24 smoking a joint when there was a knock on my driver's side window. I had just taken a big hit off a joint and was in the process of passing it to Linda when I rolled down the window and exhaled in the officer's face. As I passed the joint over my shoulder to Linda, the cop asked, "What's that?"
I was so fucked up I answered, "What's what?"
Then he tapped on the window in the back, where Linda was already taking her turn. When she rolled down her window, the cop looked at her as she exhaled in his face and asked, "What's that?"
Linda nonchalantly responded, "What's what?" as she passed the joint to Jay…
The cop appeared frustrated with our answers and was just about to ask us to step out of the car when Susan chimed in, the only one still coherent. "We're getting married tomorrow, and we're out with some of the wedding party celebrating."
Susan's radiant smile and pure innocence definitely added credibility to what was in progress, a potential arrest. After hearing Susan's explanation and seeing her smile, the cop reconsidered, shook his head in disbelief, and made a suggestion. "Then why don't you stop partying and drive home carefully so you'll still be alive tomorrow when it's time to get married?"
It seemed like a novel idea, and I shook my head in agreement. I rolled up my window, started the car, and headed back to Sharon.
When I went to turn onto East St. from Bay Road, at Crescent Ridge, I yelled out, "Clint Eastwood turn!" and I took it at high speed and might've been up on two wheels for a moment. I was driving a beat-up rental, and I guess I thought for a minute I was in a scene from "Dirty Harry."
While I frantically turned the steering wheel in an attempt to straighten the car out, everyone was rolling around in the back and trying desperately to stay in their seats. For them, it was like being on a roller coaster. All they could do was hang on. It was a pretty fucking stupid move on my behalf, but luckily, we made it home alive.
I think I viewed that night as my "last hurrah". I went home to Neil's apartment and slept it off on the pullout couch. In the morning, I had a big breakfast and spent the rest of the day relaxing and preparing for the all-important night ahead…
Up on Cripple Creek, she sends meIf I spring a leak, she mends meI don't have to speak, she defends meA drunkard's dream, if I ever did see one…
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To be continued…