Video: This Little League Umpire Who Took Three Foul Tips to the Nuts Deserves a Purple Heart

Behold. Some heroes wear facemasks and chest protectors. Though not all wear cups, apparently.

Take a moment to watch this video. Because you will never again get to witness such an example of courage, gallantry, and grace under fire as displayed by this Little League umpire. Taking not one, not two, but three foul tips to the ballbag in the span of three innings. 

Top of the 2nd, bottom of the 2nd, top of the 4th. That first would made your average man quit. But not our intrepid hero. That second might have sent one to the EMT that's assigned to most town fields on game day. But this guy stayed resolute. He didn't complain. Even as the coaches ignore his obvious suffering because they're too invested in telling Ryan he did a good job of staying alive up there.  

Yet he stayed at his post when a lesser man would've deserted.

That third one though? That might have been fatal. I honestly don't know the outcome. All we know for sure is the fat guys coaching could barely be bothered to show even the slightest bit of concern as this brave man's nads were turned into smashburgers before their eyes. 

Sure, it's easy to criticize these gallant soldiers of the diamond when they mess up:

But when one remains steadfast in the face of unimaginable suffering to complete the mission he signed on for, it deserves special recognition. There's no way this is worth the 50 bucks a game, or whatever he makes. A Little League diamond is a war zone. That area behind the catcher is the front line. This man heroically served his nation, and was wounded in battle. He probably wouldn't allow us to call him a "hero." He seems like the kind of proud, stouthearted soul who would say, "The real heroes never made it back from foul tips to the yam bag. But we can have no such modest from this gritty, dauntless, hearty veteran. 

He's the best America has to offer, and deserves all the recognition we can give him. Instead of laughing because a man getting hit in the pills is never not funny:

Thoughts and prayers to this brave Spartan warrior. The term "Balls and strikes" will never be the same for him, or us. Godspeed.