Being A Dad Is Easy So Long As You Do Two Simple Things
For those who missed it, I recently fathered my second child. Being a parent is awesome so my wife and I decided we wanted to do it again. We were blessed to have another healthy child. My wife was an absolute rockstar and she makes being a mom look incredibly easy. Honestly, it's pretty simple when it comes to having a good marriage and a good mom for your kids - find a gal who is awesome. The rest takes care of itself. I appreciate all the kind words from strangers and friends alike on the birth of my son. Well, except for that mutant raccoon boy, WSD, who doesn't understand how normal adults function in society and chose to not offer any kind words.
Dave is very clearly envious of me and my life. Folks, don't be miserable like this. When you have a friend or work colleague who experiences a major life milestone, just offer a kind word. It's not hard. The country would be better off if everyone adhered to some basic principles.
Speaking of basic principles, let's get back to the reason the women I mentioned in my story were acting as though I was the greatest father to ever grace their presence. In my opinion, being a good father (or mother) really comes down to two things:
- Care
- Exercise common sense
That's it. Everything can really boil down to one of those two buckets. By no means am I a parenting expert and anyone who claims to be is full of crap or is trying to sell you something.
This scenario came down to caring. I cared about my wife getting some time to herself. I cared enough to take leave so I can be there for my son. I cared enough to make myself comfortable to take my son out by myself. Shoot, I cared enough to feed him when he was clearly hungry.
That last one probably makes you say, "Uh, feeding your kid when he's hungry is pretty simple" but you'd be surprised how many dads pass that off to the mom. The previous generation of Dads were not hands on at all. That's a sweeping generalization but largely true. They were out there working, yes, but they did not do most of the parenting activities. That was on mom's shoulders so it is no surprise that when two women of that generation saw me out with my son, you would've thought they saw Haley's Comet. Now let me be clear, I wasn't doing anything special. They were impressed simply by the fact that I was out with my son by myself. That is what I mean when I say the bar is in the basement. Yes, they were also sort of flirting with me but that is besides the point. They had seemingly never seen a father take their infant son out so mom could have some quiet time.
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Beyond that though, caring comes in the form of being present for your child and this manifests itself in a number of ways. My dad coached me and never missed a single game of mine because he cared. He sacrificed his free time to be with me and my sisters. The part of caring that isn't explicitly laid out is letting go of being selfish. You need to be thinking of your kids and wife first and this comes at the expense of playing 18 or watching the game with your boys at the bar.
Speaking of the bar, I am brought to my second point of common sense. Common sense tells you that if you give a young kid a credit card with no rules, it's going to get used and abused.
This is bananas on so many levels but the one I come back to is there is part of you that has to expect this when you give a credit card to a college senior. Credit cards to young kids feels like play money or so I would assume because I was never given a credit card by my parents. I don't know the details of the story beyond what she shared in the clip, but common sense dictates that if you don't want a massive credit card bill, don't hand it over to a 21 year old at college.
That's all I have because I make it a point to not offer advice on parenting. Whenever an expecting parent asks me for tips I say the same thing, "Don't listen to anyone else" because every kid is different. No one knows your kid better than you so it is on you to raise them as best you can. Some podcasts hosts and influencers will make you believe they have the answers or there are a bunch of books you should read/follow but I truly believe those are, at best, tales of what has worked for others. That will never be a 100% one for one, but it's a start. Just my two cents as a new father of two.
P.S. If only there was a parenting podcast at Barstool to flush out stories like these more…(hi, Clem)
P.P.S The interview we did with Seth Harp is nuts! The Delta Force drug cartel seems like it is straight out of a movie