Five More Arrests Have Been Made in the Louvre Heist, Making This the Most Disappointing Major Crime of All Time

JEANNE ACCORSINI. Shutterstock Images.

One of the underrated moments in Die Hard is when Holly discovers the whole takeover of Nakatomi Plaza was only done to steal the bearer bonds and says to Hans Gruber, "After all your posturing, all your little speeches, you're nothing but a common thief." And because every single line of dialogue out of his mouth was pure gold he replies, "I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite."

I bring this up by way of introduction to make the point that I'm a big believer that the criminal should match the crime. If you're going to take over an entire skyscraper, take a company's staff hostage, lead the local police and the FBI on a series of wild goose chases, then blow the roof off the building killing everyone and the Feds so you can make your getaway with $640 million in negotiable bearer bonds? Well you had better be a highly trained, well-equipped team of mercenaries led by a sophisticated German with a classical education. You should be exceptional thieves, not just common thieves. 

So it was much to my dismay to learn the band who made off with over $100 million in jewels from the world's most famous museum, turned out to be common thieves:

But it's only gotten worse by the day. From the latest reports, it sounds like they aspire to be common thieves:

Yahoo -  Five more suspects have been arrested in connection with the Oct. 19 jewel heist at the Louvre Museum in Paris, according to Paris Prosecutor Laure Beccuau.

The arrests took place on Wednesday in the Seine-Saint-Denis region in the suburbs of Paris, though French authorities have not yet named any of the suspects.

Beccuau, speaking on French radio station RTL, said the stolen jewelry has still not been found but that police believe one of the suspects arrested in Wednesday's raid could be a major person of interest due to his DNA being found at the scene of the crime.

French police told ABC News that one of the suspects arrested Wednesday had already been identified and was under surveillance for several days. 

The fresh arrests bring to seven the total number of people detained related to the heist. Two other people -- both men in their 30s and from the Paris suburb of Seine-Saint-Denis -- were arrested last weekend.

Calling this crew common thieves is an insult to common thieves. They'd have to do a two-year training program just to qualify for a Common Thief internship. They're less Gruber's Volksfrei Movement than they are the Hamburglar trying to rob McDonaldland and getting nabbed by Big Mac. 

And worse, they're violating the code by ratting out their co-conspirators. What are you peopleT? Clever master criminals, brazenly trying to pull off a heist so dramatic it wounds the very soul of a major world power? Or some drug-addled suburban kids breaking into a house to steal Grandma's charm bracelet so you can sell it and buy some Oxys? 

I'm not so much angry as I am, well … disappointed. Be better, criminals. The next time someone steals some country's national treasures, put a little effort into it.