Breaking Down A Real Slobber Knocker at A Bass Pro Shop In Odessa, Texas

Dante11/03/2025 3:10 PM

Arite, we got a melee in a Bass Pro Shop in Odessa, Texas and before I get into breaking the tape down, I gotta admit, I am shocked by this one. I thought Bass Pro Shops was one of the more happier places on Earth. No?

I hate the shopping experience with a passion. Unless it's at one of The Big 3. 1- Lowe's, 2- Costco, 3- Bass Pro/Cabella's. Those three spots I could stay in for hours, wandering the aisles, window shopping, or dropping a month's mortgage payment on stuff I had no intention of getting when I left the house.

They're also where you'll find some of the more mid-high level ranking humans in the gene-pool. When you go to a hardware store, or outdoors store, you tend to find people who work, do things outdoors, and contribute to society.

Not to mention, Bass Pro Shops is like Disneyland for adult men. Swap Mickey ears for camo hats and churros for beef jerky, and you’ve basically got the same fantasyland but with way more flannel. You walk in and they haev a fucking a waterfall, a fake mountain, a taxidermy safari, and a guy demo-casting into a trout tank like he’s on Splash Mountain.

Every aisle feels like a themed ride: the Archery Kingdom, the Land of 10,000 Lures, the sacred temple where they keep the $600 coolers we “need” for a single Saturday tailgate. The air smells like cedar, barbecue seasoning, and financial decisions you’ll explain to your spouse later.

You tell yourself you’re “just browsing,” then black out and come to at the register holding a kayak, a smoker, and a lantern that could guide ships home in a Nor’easter. There's nothing like it.

The ONLY difference is the soundtrack. Instead of parade music, it’s country radio and a distant chorus of “You finding everything alright, boss?” as you realize you’ve never been more seen.

So that's why seeing this video was so surprising. What the fuck upset these people at adult male Disney? Especially to the point they'd humilate themselves like this in internet perpuity?

Sad.

To start, I thought we had something good on our hands seeing these to square up, and actually stick and move. It seemed like a matchup between a couple of semi-professionals.

But that was short-lived once Big Hoss came trotting over.

There's a reason they have weight classes in professional fighting. There's just so much that skill can account for. And all the MMA Pay Per Views this guy has watched in his life weren't enough for him once he was on his back.

Luckily, the camera cut away before those heavy hands started raining down.

Just when things seemed like they were really about to get out of hand, the cavalry arrived, with the urgency of a government employee. Look at these beauts!