A Perfect Pump Will Always Be One Of Life's Simplest Pleasures

Ezra Shaw. Getty Images.

Over the last few days, there's been a lot of pump talk in professional sports. Joel Embiid was just fined $50,000 for his decision to unleash some pumps

During the Panthers/Packers game yesterday, Rico Dowdle was given a taunting penalty for unleashing some pumps of his own

so you could say pumps are pretty hot in the professional sports streets right now. Granted, they seem to be a very specific type of pump, but really, they were just the beginning.

While those pumps may be what gets most of the attention, that is not the purpose of this blog. No no, this blog is to talk about something that feels 100000000x better than whatever pumps Embiid/Dowdle were trying to emulate. I'm talking about a perfect pump

OK, a few things here. 

For starters, this is an ELITE timeout/halftime bit during a basketball/NBA game. While Red Panda will always be the GOAT and baby/puppy races are funny from time to time, in my opinion, a competitive gas pumping challenge can go round for round with any of them. I mean, that clip was the very definition of electric. The Kings may struggle to do anything that resembles a good idea when it comes to their basketball team, but this idea? They may be onto something

Advertisement

So simple, yet so great. 

I think this works so well because it speaks to something everyone can relate to. There are few better pleasures in regular everyday life than throwing a perfect game at the gas pump. Perhaps this is only something you can understand as you get older, but give me a perfect gas pump over the Embiid/Dowdle pumps every day of the week and twice on Sundays. It sounds silly, but a perfect performance at the gas pump can truly elevate you for an entire day. Maybe even two days. It gives you just enough pep in your step to put a smile on your face. You're definitely telling multiple people about your perfect pump, it just comes naturally. 

"Oh, did you see gas is only $3.35 over at that Smith's? I was there earlier today and pulled off a perfect pump. It was incredible."

That's the type of sentence I feel confident in saying that every single washed-up dude has said at some point in their life. There's just something about it that lifts your entire spirit, and you're lying to yourself if you disagree. I challenge anyone who has pulled off a perfect pump to try and tell me it didn't make their day or give them a shot of adrenaline. It's truly one of life's simplest pleasures. Maybe your day has been hell, and you just needed to step away and get some silence, so you go get some gas. Then, while at the pump, you're watching the gallons/price go up, and immediately your brain starts to entertain the idea of going for glory. If you pull it off? You truly feel like a God.

Would I compare it to a hole-in-one in golf? Maybe, but I've never had a hole-in-one, so I can't say for sure, but I tend to think they're in the same universe to some degree. Both require extreme focus. Both require a little bit of luck. Both require elite hand/eye coordination. And then when it happens, you're filled with elation, satisfaction, disbelief etc. You tell anyone and everyone about your perfect pump, and nobody complains or gets on your case for it, because society respects a perfect pump

Life is all about finding the joy in everyday shit, and I want you to ask that Kings fan if he felt joy in that moment. Of course he did, that's the power of a perfect pump.

And really, as a Kings fan there isn't a whole lot else to be excited about. The actual team is every bit of a disaster that many expected them to be once we all saw their roster (2-4), but we knew that was coming. It's probably not a great sign when the best part of your season is an in game bit, but that doesn't mean that bit isn't both electric and a great idea. Good job Kings!