Tom Brady's Dog Junie is a Clone of His Dog Lua, Who Died in 2023, Proving Not Even Death Can Defeat Tom Brady
If I said it once during Tom Brady's career, I said it a billion trillion times. Whenever I'd give a book talk (available now for everyone on your holiday list!) it would end with a Q&A where invariably someone would ask me how I thought the end of his playing days would go. And my stock answer was that he would break the Grim Reaper's unbeaten streak. That he would evolve beyond his corporeal form, become a being of pure energy, then be reborn in the body of another superior athlete. That the Patriots would know all about it, draft him again, he'd reveal himself to the world, and his success and all the winning continue for another two-plus decades.
People thought I was joking. I was not joking. His master plan is merely still in the beta testing stage. Here's your proof:
Source - Tom Brady’s dog Junie is a clone of his late dog Lua.
After Lua — whom the retired quarterback shared with ex-wife Gisele Bündchen and their children — died in December 2023, he welcomed another, similar-looking dog, Junie. Nearly two years later, Brady has revealed that Junie is a clone of the late pit bull mix.
Brady shared the news on Tuesday, Nov. 4, coinciding with an announcement from Colossal Biosciences, a biotech company that he is an investor in — and that worked with him to clone his beloved Lua. On Nov. 4, the Dallas-based company, best known for its headline-making claim that it produced three dire wolf pups, announced that it has acquired another biotech company, Viagen Pets and Equine. ...
Brady’s late pet Lua was cloned using blood collected prior to her death in 2023, the Colossal investor said in a statement obtained by PEOPLE.
What did you think? He invested in this biotech companies for the huge return on investment? Of course not. It was in order to get in on the ground floor of this technology. And to apply it to his lifelong endeavor to outperform all other members of the human race for an even more impossibly long time than he already has.
There's a limit to how long kale smoothies and resistance band training can take you. Eventually, even superhuman pliability exercises will decline in effectiveness. So what Tom Brady is going to need is a newer, younger version of Tom Brady. Possibly like in the Star Wars prequels, and entire army of Bradys to do his bidding. So far it's worked for Lua and Junie. And soon, maybe once his Fox contract runs out, it will be time to make it work for Brady Prime and Clone Brady.
Because for some people - OK, one person - seven Super Bowl rings is not enough. Just like one version of Junie wasn't. And one version of himself isn't. The Greatest Show on Turf Rams couldn't beat him. The Legion of Boom Seahawks couldn't beat him. The Falcons couldn't, even when they had him down 28-3. The Chiefs lost to him twice. The Angel of Death never stood a chance.
All I ask as a Patriots fan is that he take his time, make sure the technology is perfected, and do it right the first time. We can wait another 20 years. Because we've already got the closest thing we need to a Brady clone right here, right now.