Advertisement

Find Out What Happened After IG Girl Aliza Told The World She Blew 7 Phoenix Suns (Never In 500,000 Years Will You Guess What Her Job Was)

We spoke to Adam22 from No Jumper to get the follow up on the fallout of the most scandalous sports story in years. Some of it makes sense, and some of it is absolutely preposterous. 

Makes Sense

1) Aliza comes from a Mormon family. Classic story of the repressed girl who lashes out WAY more than had you just let her enjoy life a little bit instead reading the Bible. If you let her suck 1 dick when she was growing up she wouldnt be sucking 7 today. Also, all that polyamorous shit really came back to bit you in the ass, eh dad? Which brings me to:

2) She was disowned by her family. I got the type of family who are ride or fucking die. I could tell everyone that I sucked 7 NBA dicks and they would have my back. And I'm not saying in some hypothetical where I was an IG thot. Im saying me, myself, Kevin Clancy, could blow 7 NBA players and my family would be like, "What? Like its hard?" But Aliza and her Mormon family are no longer on speaking terms. Which doesnt bother Aliza one bit because...

3) She made 60,000 dollars in 2 days. Probably more as you read this. Because we are living in the middle of a revolution, folks. The Only Fans Golden Age. And while I find it EXTREMELY annoying to bust my ass all day and all night making endless amounts of content and I will never SNIFF that sort of income, I am also grateful we now live in a world where girls like Aliza are just like "Fuck it, I'll become an amateur porn star." And you can file this under "100% Makes A Ton Of Fucking Sense" because I am gonna have to watch this girl suck someone's dick at some point.

4) Aliza was fired from her job...

Makes No Sense

1) ...Aliza was fired from her job as a CPA!!!! A Certified Public Accountant!!!!!! Fucking LUNACY! Now, the accounting firm was owned by her father so the firing was part of the disowning and I bet she just sits at a desk and never passed the CPA test but its HILARIOUS to think that she was walking around telling people she was a CPA and ended up with this being her lasting legacy. 

Part of me feels a kinship with Aliza. We are kindred spirits. We both left the accounting world to whore ourselves out on the internet.  She, literally. I, metaphorically. I do it with a lot of white guys, she does it with a lot of black guys. But at the end of the day, we're just trying to be *girly star emoji* happy *girly star emoji*

Advertisement

Latest Videos

25 videos

1
Macrodosing vs. Mark Titus & Mostly Trivia | Match 34, Season 5 - The Dozen Trivia League

Macrodosing vs. Mark Titus & Mostly Trivia | Match 34, Season 5 - The Dozen Trivia League

2
Barstool Pizza Review - The Slice Hut (Chicago, IL)

Barstool Pizza Review - The Slice Hut (Chicago, IL)

3
Raw Dogging at Cubby's BBQ in Hackensack, NJ

Raw Dogging at Cubby's BBQ in Hackensack, NJ

4
Gruden’s QB Class | Quinn Ewers

Gruden’s QB Class | Quinn Ewers

5
Dave Announces Major Changes to The Rundown - Barstool Rundown - April 21st, 2025

Dave Announces Major Changes to The Rundown - Barstool Rundown - April 21st, 2025

6
In honor of Patriots Day we are posting the Barstool Doc “Boston Strong” instead of pizza today.   Pizza will be back tomorrow

In honor of Patriots Day we are posting the Barstool Doc “Boston Strong” instead of pizza ...

7
NFL Draft With Daniel Jeremiah, Timberwolves HC Chris Finch, Playoffs Are Here And We Have A Thunder Fan Refusing To Wear The Shirt

NFL Draft With Daniel Jeremiah, Timberwolves HC Chris Finch, Playoffs Are Here And We Have...

8
Kirk & Minihane vs. Fran, Brandon, PFT & Experts | Match 33, Season 5 - The Dozen Trivia League

Kirk & Minihane vs. Fran, Brandon, PFT & Experts | Match 33, Season 5 - The Dozen Trivia L...

9
Frankie Vs Royal Portrush, Back 9 (On PGA TOUR 2K25)

Frankie Vs Royal Portrush, Back 9 (On PGA TOUR 2K25)

10
Dunk Contest Leaves Employees Absolutely SHOCKED | VIVA TV

Dunk Contest Leaves Employees Absolutely SHOCKED | VIVA TV

11
Frank Walks Episode 51: Darryl Strawberry presented by BODYARMOR

Frank Walks Episode 51: Darryl Strawberry presented by BODYARMOR

12
NBA Playoffs With Brian Windhorst, Actor Josh Duhamel, The Bulls Lost Twice In The Play In, Lee Corso Retires Plus Fyre Fest

NBA Playoffs With Brian Windhorst, Actor Josh Duhamel, The Bulls Lost Twice In The Play In...

13
Gayle King Responds to Critics of Blue Origin Space Trip - Barstool Rundown - April 17th, 2025

Gayle King Responds to Critics of Blue Origin Space Trip - Barstool Rundown - April 17th, ...

14
Barstool Pizza Review - Lusha Pizza (Chicago, IL) presented by Rhoback

Barstool Pizza Review - Lusha Pizza (Chicago, IL) presented by Rhoback

15
How To Get The Perfect Reverse Seared Steak With Ryan Whitney | What's For Lunch

How To Get The Perfect Reverse Seared Steak With Ryan Whitney | What's For Lunch

16
Raw Dogging at Heffy's in Mount Prospect, IL

Raw Dogging at Heffy's in Mount Prospect, IL

17
Steven Cheah's Top 16 Things In Life!  (The Bracket, Vol. 170)

Steven Cheah's Top 16 Things In Life! (The Bracket, Vol. 170)

18
Gruden's QB Class | Kyle McCord

Gruden's QB Class | Kyle McCord

19
Jon Gruden & Grinders vs. Chicago | Match 32, Season 5 - The Dozen Trivia League

Jon Gruden & Grinders vs. Chicago | Match 32, Season 5 - The Dozen Trivia League

20
Colorado Is Retiring Shedeur Sanders & Travis Hunter's Jerseys - Barstool Rundown - April 16th, 2025

Colorado Is Retiring Shedeur Sanders & Travis Hunter's Jerseys - Barstool Rundown - April ...

21
Barstool Pizza Review - Ranalli's Pizza Bar (Chicago, IL)

Barstool Pizza Review - Ranalli's Pizza Bar (Chicago, IL)

22
Tank Cooks Paninis

Tank Cooks Paninis

23
Celtics HC Joe Mazzulla, NBA Play In Games, Who’s The Next “Can’t Win The Big One” Guy + Guys On Chicks And The Year Of Junk Science

Celtics HC Joe Mazzulla, NBA Play In Games, Who’s The Next “Can’t Win The Big One” Guy + G...

24
Uptown Balls vs. The Ryders | Match 31, Season 5 - The Dozen Trivia League

Uptown Balls vs. The Ryders | Match 31, Season 5 - The Dozen Trivia League

25
Katy Perry Decided to Sing While up in Space - Barstool Rundown - April 15th, 2025

Katy Perry Decided to Sing While up in Space - Barstool Rundown - April 15th, 2025